Customs of the Order

The Order does not have rules in the ordinary sense, since rules would need to be enforced and enforcement is a kind of activity. It has customs instead: things that are done because they have always been done, by people who would rather not do anything at all. Its full Statute is kept for members only. What follows is the part that may be shared with guests.

Of Sessions

A session of the Order is convened whenever two or more members find themselves near a sofa while something else urgently requires their attention. The more pressing the other matter, the more fully constituted the session is held to be.

There is no fixed calendar. The Order has found that sessions arranged in advance tend to be cancelled, whereas sessions that are not arranged at all are almost never missed. A quorum is two members and one sofa. In the absence of a sofa, an armchair may serve, provided everyone agrees not to mention it.

Of Conduct at a Session

1. The motto is spoken first. The senior member present says Verba, non opera, and the session is open. Nobody need reply.
2. Tea precedes all business. No subject may be raised until each member has a cup, and the question of who should make it may be debated at any length.
3. No conversation may reach a conclusion. Should a member find the discussion approaching a decision, it is their duty to raise a related but entirely different matter.
4. Every proposal is welcomed and none adopted. Good ideas are received with warm agreement and the words “we should definitely do that,” which closes the matter for good.
5. Interruption is a courtesy. To interrupt a member shows that one was listening closely enough to think of something else.
6. The clock is not consulted. A member who looks at the time is gently reminded that the clock on the arms of the Order does not move, and neither should anyone else.
7. Notes are not taken. Anything worth remembering will come up again, and anything that does not was not worth remembering.

Of Guests

Guests are welcome at any session, so long as they are introduced by a member and do not arrive with an agenda. A guest who produces a written list of points is offered tea and a seat at the far end of the sofa, where nobody can quite hear them.

Of the Close

Sessions of the Order are never formally closed. They are adjourned, quietly, when the last member present remembers where they were supposed to be. The customary words are “let's pick this up later,” and, by long tradition, nobody ever does.